- 16th
- April
- 2009
The Zombie Threat Level and Indicators Chart
Blue
Absolutely no threat of zombie apocalypse.
Obviously never occurs naturally in nature, is purely theoretical.
Yellow
If it’s yellow you’re mellow.
Orange
No immediate threat.
Should be aware of all emergency exits, potential weapons, and the various rudimentary zombie killing strategies (i.e. razor wire lasso which when tightened like a noose will result in decapitation)
Delta
No immediate reason to think that there may be zombies but you kind of get that feeling that shit could go down.
Also technically not a color.
Double Delta
Exactly twice as dangerous as delta.
Red
Some evidence of impending zombie apocalypse; including but not limited to tabloid headlines, possibly homeless person seen scuttling down street, presence of umbrella corporation SUVs, success of NBC’s Nightrider).
More Ominous Shade of Red
Strong evidence of zombie apocalypse.
May include: Occult chanting in graveyard, talk about strange diseases spreading, documented case of a hospitalized man biting anyone, unexplained accounts of a rash of violence breaking out in a small town which cannot be reached for some reason.
Prepare weapons and supplies, secure transportation, assemble comrades, and prepare for the inevitable.
Black
Zombies confirmed (shit just got real!)
Immediately open and implement zombie survival plan (you have one right?)
Good luck and God speed
Double Black
Presence of fast zombies confirmed.
Far more dangerous (shit just got realer!!), do not try to outmaneuver zombies; securing current location may be only option.
Blacker than Black
The guy who isn’t saying much was bit when you weren’t looking.
Kill the guy who isn’t saying much
Triple X Black
Presence of intelligent or semi-intelligent zombies confirmed.
Most likely completely screwed, disregard any further contact, distrust those around you, strongly consider murder suicide pact.
Vermillion
If you see notification of vermillion warning level you are an intelligent zombie and may start rebuilding society in your image.
Is vermillion a shade of red? I think it may be a pasta.
A product of Zombie Survival Corp
